Nobody wants to think about their obituary because it would mean we’ve ceased to be. But all too often that final write-up about our lives has become less about who we are and more about who we leave behind.
Us common folks should be remembered with the same grace, dignity and interest as celebrities and politicians, perhaps more so in a small community like Pickens. The people on our obituary pages are the people we shared a town with, that we saw at the grocery store or sat by at church.
An obituary can be more than just who in our family remains alive or where we will be laid to rest. An obituary should tell people what we spent our lives doing. You don’t have to be a big shot to get a proper sendoff. You just need to be interesting. And there is something interesting in everyone.
Sure we may not all have an obituary like that one inseparable couple who had been married for 62 years and died just hours apart or the outdoorsman who survived two attacks by grizzly bears but died peacefully in his own bed (the irony!). Even if we are just the typical southern ladies and gents who enjoyed church meetings and sitting on the porch with a glass of tea, we all have traits or stories that tell readers that our life was well lived.
Obits are a way to give a person a grand goodbye, even if our own says we had a lifelong love affair with Netflix and Vienna sausages on saltines.
We’d love to see more obits come into the office like William “Freddie” McCullough (he’s not from around here but his obit is widely circulated on legacy sites). Like McCullough, our obits should be true reflections of the lives we’ve lived - whether humorous, sentimental or just plain honest.
McCullough’s obit read:
“The man. The myth. The legend. Men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him. McCullough died on September 11, 2013. Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reese’s Cups and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order. He hated vegetables and hypocrites. Not necessarily in that order.”
Or what about Michael “Flathead” Blanchard.
“Weary of reading obituaries noting someone’s courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors’ orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.”
Another obit, Katherine Collins Lynch, an amateur musician and optometry associate who, at her death, “departed for Heaven without the courtesy of a goodbye notice, and without having prepared one last pot of her much-loved chicken and rice soup.” Her survivors planned to celebrate her homecoming with a “good ol’ sing” around the piano.” “In lieu of flowers, Kathy would rather you buy and fry a pack of extra crispy bacon and enjoy it with your family.”
So we encourage everyone to stop and consider what you want to be said about you when you die and let your relatives know you want them to publicly state that your final request was to be driven through town in a favorite pickup truck or went into the ground dressed in your finest Georgia Bulldog shirt.
The simple fact is people love reading, sharing and commenting on obituaries. So write something down. Make it personal or bold, funny or not. Just make it about you.