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Hot enough for ya?

By Christie Pool, Staff Writer

            The summer heat has arrived. Even before the official start of summer on Tuesday, our heat index here in the South had already hit the triple digits. And we are just getting started. 

            With temps this week expected to be mostly in the mid 90s and with no rain in sight, it’s time to put on our bona fide Southerner caps and do what we always do in June, July and August… bear it with a smile and some cute sayin’s.

            As miserable as high temperatures can be, at least many of us get to bear it inside with air conditioning (thank you Willis Haviland Carrier who invented the modern air conditioner in 1902). Southerners have a special place in our hearts for the men and women who have to work outside in these blazing temperatures  (we’re thinking of you DOT workers and landscapers).

            Tuesday’s high here was expected to reach a blazing 93 degrees. In the past 20 years, according to the Dark Sky weather app’s Time Machine feature, Jasper has only hit the 90 degree mark five times on June 21st. It’s hot and it is only going to get hotter this summer.

June 21, 2021 = 85°

June 21, 2020 = 85°

June 21, 2019 = 86°

June 21, 2018 = 81°

June 21, 2017 = 77°

June 21, 2016 = 88°

June 21, 2015 = 90°

June 21, 2014 = 86°

June 21, 2013 = 81°

June 21, 2012 = 87°

June 21, 2011 = 91°

June 21, 2010 = 92°

June 21, 2009 = 91°

June 21, 2008 = 82°

June 21, 2007 = 88°

June 21, 2006 = 94°

June 21, 2005 = 81°

June 21, 2004 = 79°

June 21, 2003 = 80°

June 21, 2002 = 87°

            For any newcomer who may want to talk to us locals about the heat over the next few months, here are some sayings that might come in handy:

            Man, it’s hot as all get-out.

            It must be 90 in the shade.

            This one’s gonna be a scorcher.

            You could fry an egg on the sidewalk.

            You could fry an egg on the hood of that car.

            It’s hot as Hades.

            Hotter than H-E double hockey sticks.

            Hot as the hinges on the gates of Hell.

            Hotter than six shades of Hell.

            Hotter than Satan’s house cat.

            It’s so hot the swimming pool is boiling.

            It’s so hot the ice cream truck melted.

            It’s like a steam bath out here.

            I’m sweatin’ like a pig.

            Hotter than a billy goat with a blow torch.   

            Hotter than a blister bug in a pepper patch.

            Hotter than hell and half of Georgia.

            Hotter than a firecracker lit at both ends.

            Hotter than a pair of sweat pants full of barbecue.

            Hotter than blue blazes.

            Hotter than noon on the Fourth of July.

            Hotter than a $2 pistol.

            Hotter than six shades of hell.

            Hotter than Georgia asphalt.

            Hotter than the dickens.

            Hotter than two rats kissing in a wool sock.

             We could tell you to always park your car in the shade, or make sure and cover your windows with drapes or shades, weather-strip doors and windows to keep that air conditioning in, or stay out of the sun during the hottest part of the day. But  really the best advice we can give is to simply find a way to do as little as you can get by with — binge watch something or perhaps read a book under a fan with a cold drink. It’s the South, of course it’s hot in summer.

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